Blessed Samhain.

Samhain BlessingsSamhain Blessings
Samhain blessings

Samhain Blessings

366 Days of witchery.

Whenever there are stresses and conflicts in my life, my spiritual practice is the first casualty.  Over the past year I have had so much happen that at times I could have easily thrown the towel in and sunk to the depths of despair.  At my lowest ebb I questioned my belief in witchcraft – you see, when my Dad was sick in hospital I was working hard ritual wise to get him home and it never happened.  On the day he died I stared in disbelief at my witchy stuff, wondering how I had not being able to prevent his death and was ready to turn my back on the all that is witchcraft.
I felt a similar thing when my brother died last December and I had felt like this previously after my Aunty died.  I guess my own mortality really hit me hard, this year I have struggled to get myself out of the dark hole I am in right now.  I feel hopeless at times, I feel like I should be able to do more when it comes to helping my family and there are times I feel as if I am being punished for something.

I know this is all normal when going through the grieving process, and let’s not forget, my brother died just before Christmas last year and then my Dad died 4 months later.  Pretty hard to cope with one death, let alone two,  I guess it is normal to question any faith because that faith was unable to save their lives, even though I know that is ridiculous now, at the time I felt cheated.
But the darkness has started to recede and I am beginning to find a place for myself within the craft again.  Earlier in the autumn I seemed to find my way again but I know I am going to have days where I question everything and feel the dark thoughts take over.

I wanted to do something for myself that would help me reconnect with my witchy self.  In the past when I have felt like this I have re-read certain books, performed a ritual to recommit myself and so on, but I have still, when faced with enormous challenges, found myself questioning all that is witchy.
So, I came up with the idea of doing something craft related everyday for a year and a day.  This may seem like a Wiccan concept – you know, the whole year and a day thing – but it feels like the right thing for me at this time.  Even if I can’t blog for whatever reason I am going to do this and will catch up blog wise at a later date.

The first thing I am going to look at is belief.

Belief is a major part of witchcraft – sounds quite obvious, I know.  It is though, an area where I am lacking from time to time and is probably half of the reason why I all but give up on the craft when I am under extreme stress.  So, for my first task of my 366 day challenge I am going to work on my belief, the belief I have in myself and my talents.