Who are my deity of choice?

You cannot really go about this type of thing without getting caught up by deity.  When I was at school we did a lot of study into Greek mythology and for a long time I really identified with deity from this region.  When I had started settling into witchcraft and its studies I began looking into the Roman pantheon and then the Celtic pantheon, but somehow nothing ever feels right.

I have spent some time recently thinking about who and what we, as humans, would have worshipped/believed in before Christianity.  Where I am from (Cumbria) we would have been part of the Carvetti tribe and they would have worshipped Celtic deity.  I am still finding it hard to identify with this – even to this day – and I came to the conclusion some time ago that Goddess and God worship isn’t all that important.

Strangely enough I do believe in the whole concept of the Lady and Lord, but who they are is really something I haven’t identified with.  When I think in terms of a God I think of Pan, the horned God, or even the Green Man.  As for an archetypical Lady, I can only ever imagine a figure such as Venus/Aphrodite.  But then I muddy the waters even more by not being able to identify them as my deity and find myself thinking more in terms of the Fates.

Very contradictory, I know.

Believing in the Fates feels more natural to me, and yes they are from Greek mythology, but legend has it that they predate any deity we know of, so this makes me think that whatever path we choose to follow some kind of fate weavers are out there helping us shape our destiny.

As for the Gods and Goddesses of each culture; I believe that there are the set ones that each culture have, no more, no less and that just as the Goddess of Love in the Roman world was Venus, with the Greeks calling their Goddess of Love Aphrodite, I believe she is one and the same just with a different name.
I believe that each culture has their own version, but these deities are, for want of a better word, the same beings, only with different names.

I’m not sure why I can’t really take to a certain Goddess and God, perhaps being brought up a Christian and being forced to go to church and Sunday school has really given me the heebie jeebies when it comes to worship.  Worship makes me feel like a church goer, like something all good folks do if they know what’s good for them.
I guess these feelings stem from Christian guilt and my sadness at how the mainstream religions fight amongst themselves over whose way is the right way.  This is one of the reasons I have never told my mother about practicing witchcraft.  She would not understand why and would probably dismiss it all as some rebellious phase that I will eventually grow out of.  Perhaps this is why I feel uncomfortable about worship, it feels too much like going to church and maybe I just will always be the rebel.