I seem to be on a never ending cycle of sorting my life out. At this moment in time I am very disillusioned with a lot of things that I once held dear – certain people on FB/twitter/forums etc, having to do things a certain way, belief in certain things……
I have spent very little time online in recent weeks because I feel a lot of troubles and distractions are caused by certain things on certain social media sites. Don’t get me wrong, I love these sites as much as the next person, but certain groups of people seem to have an uncanny knack of sucking the very life out of you and leaving you feeling so disillusioned. I decided to delete said people but have not really spent much time on FB since.
Besides, my blahness with life seems to be in every area of my life and not just confined to snarky mares on FB. I think the weather plays a huge part in it too. I love weather, the extremes of weather, everything about weather. But in Cumbria it has rained almost everyday since early June, we have had the occasional dry day with sun, but largely it has rained and rained and rained. We have been on flood alert quite a few times, with June 23rd being the worst when we were almost flooded.
There is such an air of despondency all around me, mainly brought on by the lack of sunshine, it’s no wonder I feel so blah and meh. I do like rain, but when it has been never ending even I get sick of it.
I was supposed to be going to counselling but I decided against that. After my initial consultation way back at the beginning of June my next appointment was July 11th. I cancelled. I was able to work on myself, using Reiki and self help techniques which have helped enormously with the problems I was having. I think it is shocking that it took a few weeks to have my initial consultation and then a further five weeks for my second appointment. I gave my place up on the programme for someone who needed it more, we should never have to wait this long for help.
Mercury went retrograde yesterday, until August 15th – I think. In the run up to this weekend the communication problems we have been experiencing have been pretty bad, leaving me wondering just how bumpy the ride is going to be.
I am pleased to say that staying off FB etc, working on my problems and trying not to get the wet weather get me down has really helped me focus. Hopefully this time I will have learnt what I am supposed to and won’t have to go over this stuff again.