After my recent post I got to thinking about all that keeps me from blogging. Mostly it has been a situation my youngest daughter was involved in; an abusive relationship.
I never expected that a child of mine would fall victim to such a man. Getting her and her baby out of the relationship was tough and extremely painful for her. Some of what her abuser put her through brought outside authorities into her life – her baby was considered at risk from her father, so restrictions were placed upon him and she was put onto a child protection plan.
This week we go to conference to see if she still needs to be on that plan – her father cannot see her at this time and she isn’t at risk from anyone else, so fingers crossed common sense will prevail.
The fallout for my daughter has been huge. Not only has she had to adjust to being a single parent, she has had to get used to the prospect that her child may never see her father. She has had to adjust to a life where she is in control – part of the abuse she suffered from was having her every move and decision controlled by him. It isn’t as easy as just doing as you please, when your partner has dictated every aspect of your life then it is quite difficult to pick up the reins and walk your own path, free and easy.
She has also had a mountain of debt to sort through. The slimeball racked up a mountain of debt in her name.
This adjustment period for her has meant that we have all had to be on hand, providing emotional support. She hit rock bottom, was diagnosed with post natal depression and felt like her life was over.
But she has made it through and has met a nice young man. It’s early days for them, she needs to take things slowly, and she enjoys spending time with him when we have her child – every Wednesday and Saturday.
She has two hurdles to clear, one being the removal of the plan and the other is finding a new home for herself and her daughter.
As she gains confidence and regains her self esteem she is needing less emotional support from us, which is a good thing.
One of the other crises that has kept me busy is my eldest daughter. In the space of a few months she was diagnosed with a mental health condition, similar to Bi-Polar and split up with her long term boyfriend. She has finally gotten the right support and is on new medication. She is about to start a new job working as a mental health support worker and will also begin a psychology degree.
Life is sometimes hard and feels quite cruel, but as we have found, amongst the pain and hurt there is usually moments of happiness, even if they are short lived.
These are the precious moments we often treasure the most.