Making lists makes me happy!

I have had a rough couple of weeks. Family life continues to be as dramatic as an award winning soap, too much going on and not enough down time. I also decided to bite the bullet and contact a friend who isn’t speaking to me. I am not getting into the nitty gritty of the saga, but I messaged her and then tried to re add her on FB. I have to say, I did think she would ignore my request, maybe read the message I had sent but ignore the request. Instead she just outright blocked me.

OK!

I am not going to point the blame at her, she has her opinion over why she fell out with me and I have my reasons why I acted as I did. She has every right to feel angry, just as I have every right to feel like my side of things deserves to be heard. That I have not had the chance to put my side of things across has left me feeling like a failure. Which of course is utterly ridiculous. I’ve pondered this situation all day, considered a few options and then came to the conclusion that I have done all I can for now. If she wants to remain peeved with me I have to accept that and just get on with my life. I could point out that if the shoe were on the other foot, so to speak, I would give her the chance to explain. Or I could point out her wrongdoings from the past that I chose to ignore, or forgive. Instead I choose to let her be. She knows where I am if she wants to talk and that is all I am going to do.

But the failure feeling simmered away, making me feel sorry for myself. I began to question everything about my life. Bear in mind I have the usual dramas going on in my life adding to the stress levels. Just when I was about to wallow in yet another bout of self pity I started making lists. Me and lists are great friends, I create umpteen of them and feel better about whatever has unbalanced me.

My lists brought calm to my inner turmoil. My lists helped me to see I am not a failure. My lists have brought the positive feeling I have enjoyed a lot of lately.

I love my lists.

Making Lists.

Making lists has the ability to calm me. I used to make lists all of the time, lists about what needed doing the next day, lists about what was needed for projects, for shopping, for bills needing paying, what I was going to do to achieve something……the list of lists I made is endless!
My life worked and ran pretty darn smoothly. And then chaos hit my life, my husband became ill, I became ill, my kids faced problems and there just was no time for anything. We somehow got through the dramas and life got back onto an even keel, but my memory was no longer the sharp tool it had once been. I was forgetting to do things, which really upset me. But then I discovered an app for my phone and that really helped bring my life back into order.

In this digital age not many of us still use pen and paper. I do, but then I lose those lists, so I now duplicate them – paper, phone, tablet, laptop. It helps keep life running how I need it to.

I have never really thought of my lists of anything other than a useful tool to help me get through a never ending round of appointments and meetings. Today I discovered my lists were more than a useful tool. I was feeling sorry for myself and when self pity sets in I know I am doomed. Today I began making lists; lists of why I am following a certain path, lists about things I want to achieve, lists about how to obtain a certain goal, etc. These lists really settled me down. I had tried all of the usual positive stuff and that hadn’t really helped. It was only when I was creating my lists did I find that my soul was finally soothed. It occurred to me that sometimes I need something tangible rather than just a mere, positive thought. My lists, whether they be written on paper or typed into a digital format are there for me to look at, to read through and help me get through a stressful situation, or to help me decide upon something. They ease my burden and help me get to my goal.

Stress vs lists = soothed soul, win/win!!!