After I wrote my blog post yesterday, I spent the afternoon pondering why I had written it in the first place. I doubt the other person will read it, but I assured myself that was not why. After a while I concluded that I have been undergoing transformation for quite some time now. I know I have changed, those closest to me know I have changed, but does anyone else know? I guess, in a way, the blog post was my way of releasing my feelings on that particular matter, plus, it was the unveiling of the new me.
Taking part in the writing challenge has further affirmed that I am now the person I want to be. The person I think I would have grown into had I not been attacked. It has taken a long time for that me to emerge and even though I have been “out” in my offline life, I haven’t really been in my online life. I guess I haven’t really been much of anywhere that counts in my online life. That changed yesterday when I wrote my releasing post. After contemplating my reason for writing the post I concluded that this new me is not only leaving behind negative emotions and actions, but also I m ready to face new challenges.
Fear has made me a prisoner for many years now and I am not prepared to be that prisoner anymore. I want to live my life in the way I see fit. Fear does not dictate to me what I can do. If I attempt something and it doesn’t work out, then I can say at least I tried. If I stress about what could go wrong then I am always going to be the prisoner of fear. And I refuse to be that person, imprisoned by a negative emotion.
I have no real idea at this moment in time where this will lead me. I am uncertain as to what awaits me as I walk back out into the world, ready to face the challenges and adventures along the way. What I do know is that I am not afraid to try anymore, and that releasing fear has given me such a buzz.
Watch out world, here I come!!!