I’ve come to understand something about myself that I’ve known for some time but never fully accepted.
I am a lone wolf and I’m ok with that.
A few days ago there was something of a personal crisis in my life and I really didn’t know which way to turn. What I did notice though was that I didn’t want to share that crisis with anyone else. It was nothing to do with not wanting to hear criticism of any sort, I heard it and took on board what had been said. I just wanted and needed to deal worth it in my own way.
Once the crisis had passed I pondered my realisation. I acknowledged that I cope better with my life – and all of the ups and downs that invariably happen – when I work things out on my own. I know what works best for me and I know what won’t work at all. I’m not great at offering up how I really feel, again, it’s something I choose to deal with my own way, and now I can clearly see that I feel relieved.
Someone once said to me that they knew when something was wrong in my life because I brood. I’m not sure if that was meant as a compliment or not, but hey, I’ll take it as one!
Being a loner doesn’t mean I’m lonely, far from it. I have everyone I need in my life right now. That isn’t to say I’m not open to new people, naturally I am, I just enjoy my own company and am very comfortable with it.
Life threw lemons at me recently and I discovered, or maybe accepted is a better choice of word, that I’m happy in my own company. I discovered that sometimes the lemon throwing unearths a lot of self-discovery and self-acceptance and that can be such a beautiful thing.