The above link is a story I came across on Facebook this morning. The author talks about how she feels judged by other people for sharing her photos of the presents her and 8 other family received last Christmas.
She talks about how people commented saying things like, “wow” and “holy shit”, also comments about how she had spoilt her children.
She then goes on to talk about how easy it is for people to pass judgement on others over things that have absolutely nothing to do with them.
I see posts on Facebook all of the time where someone has shared a photo of their child enjoying their birthday, or an outing they have been taken on. I may think something along the lines of “very nice” and probably give the post a like, maybe even a comment. If there are other comments on the post I’ll often read them too.
What I don’t do is leave any sort of negativity on that post, but many people do. The above article is right, what business is it of ours if someone we know spends a small fortune on their child? It’s not like they need to justify themselves to us, so why do so many people feel the need to pass judgement?
This is the downside of social media. This is the part I loathe. Where the world and her mother feels like they have the right to tell you exactly what they think because you’ve dared to share something on your own wall. They feel it’s their right to tell you exactly how they feel about your choices because you’ve shared it on social media and therefore you’ve opened yourself up to receive criticism.
Sharing on social media may allow other people a small snapshot into your life, but that probably isn’t the whole picture. The author of the above article sums it up perfectly; most people work hard, pay their dues, teach their kids right from wrong and how to behave in a moralistic way. Most people give to charity one way or another, some even give their time up.
As the author says, for most of us, Christmas is about family. It’s about peace and goodwill. It’s about being loving and kind to one another, it’s about real family values. How many of us are carrying on traditions that we have learnt from our parents, traditions they learnt from theirs.
If you spend a small amount on your loved ones this Christmas that’s your business. If you’ve spent a fortune, again, that’s your business. Your children, your family, your life, your business, certainly not mine!
Life can be hard enough without having to justify everything we say or do just because we have chosen to share on social media. Sharing moments and photos is sometimes all the contact some relatives will have with one another and these moments will bring joy. What’s not needed is some asshat making a snidey comment about how frivolous such a gift appears.
It’s times like this when I want to reply to these comments – even on other people’s statuses and pictures – and say “is this any of your business?” Or, “your opionion is not required, please keep your comments to your self!” The reason I don’t is because to do so would likely cause an argument and what was intended as a lovely post for someone’s relative has since turned into a free for all with insults flying about from all directions.
Judgement is like a disease, some people are riddled with it, others really suffer because of it. It hurts so many people.
This Christmas, enjoy the gifts you receive, the time spent with family, but most of all don’t spew anymore negativity into the world.