I love the new year. It means new calendars, new diaries, new planners, the whole kit and caboodle. I had my daughter in fits of laughter just after midnight when I was telling her how chuffed I was with my new calendar.
That makes me sound like some old fuddy duddy, but do you know what, I’m past caring. I’m past caring that other people find me weird. I’m past caring that other people think I’m into some weird shit. I’m past caring that people find it odd that I don’t drink alcohol anymore – FYI, I stopped drinking alcohol in 2008. I’m past caring that people find me odd for finding so much pleasure in nature.
Last year cost me an awful lot. I had several health scares – I’m talking some pretty heavy stuff, only my husband, kids and mother knew about it all. Twice I was waiting on test results to see if I had the big C. There were tests to see if I had Multiple Sclerosis, tests to see if I had Lupus, tests to see if had blood disorders, the list went on and on, and so did the tests.
My husband and I had a discussion last summer about how we would proceed if I did have cancer, it was really intense and emotional. At that time I reached out to a friend and instead of finding a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, all I got was how everything was so bad in her life.
That was pretty bad for me. I’d spent a long time cultivating this friendship and it was smashed to pieces in seconds. This happened to me once before and it made me very untrusting of people. To have it happen a second time was the final straw. People who I have known for years online and in real life have been cut off, not because I blame them, but because I began to realise widening my circle of trust was not such a great idea after all. It took a lot for me to do that in the first place, and the actions of one individual brought it all crashing down upon me.
My FB friends list was culled by 100 people. Twitter and Insta also had cullings. Earlier in the year I’d opened my twitter and instagram up so that anyone could follow me, after that I made them private again.
Much was said on my daughter’s social media with regards to real friends and how we expect them to stay in touch in some way. Notice I’ve said real friends here, I’m not referring to acquaintances on social media. Like her, I truly believe friends should make an effort to stay in touch. There are plenty of ways this can be done, but that’s another story……
Last year I bought a fabulous planner that I felt would be fantastic for my business. On the first page it has a fabulous pledge on it and I want to repeat that here.
“This year I am dedicated to be the best me that I can be. I am prepared to embrace change and commit to becoming successful. Every day is a new day and I will be ready and willing to live each day to my full potential. I will not let negativity or small mindedness stand in my way. I will surround myself with like minded people who will lift me higher, see my greatness, and believe in me. I am ready to step out of my comfort zone and take on any challenge that comes my way. I understand that there is no secret to success other than hard work, persistence and my mindset. I am excited for what this year holds, I am a confident and successful woman and am ready to embrace greatness. Watch me, join me, or get out of my way because 2017 is my year and the start of my future.”
Very bold and daring some might say. Inspiring I say!
The biggest lesson I learnt from last year’s challenges was that life is precious and everything can change in a heartbeat. That’s why I began making changes in my life towards the end of the year. That’s why I’m not overly concerned with what people think of me – if I stop to consider their opinion I’ll waste so much time and energy on something I’m probably not going to be able to change anyway. Why waste my precious time? I don’t hurt people – not intentionally anyway, I live my life in a way that works for me.
So what if I haven’t got optimal health? I’m doing the best I can with chronic illnesses.
So what if I don’t look like a glamorous 40 something? Considering everything my illnesses put my body through I do well to look presentable most days.
So what if I don’t believe in god, and think that religion is a load of tosh? Just look at how many acts of violence are committed in the name of one god or another.
So what if I love incense and crystals and tarot cards, and all the weird shit under the sun? It’s my life and I’ll enjoy all of these things, thank you very much!
Making a pledge to be the best version of myself means that I take care of me and my wellbeing – physically, mentally and spiritually. I’m not looking for approval, I’m just saying.