I’ve somehow let someone dull my shine, I’d stopped believing in myself. Then a friend reminded me I’m not the person I’d been left feeling like. The song I’m humming today reflects the sentiment she’s reminded me of.
Louisa Reeve appears to have the perfect life, the daughter of a successful British gem trader and the wife of Elliot, a charming businessman, who she has been married to for twelve years. Appearances can be deceptive though, and Louisa and Elliot’s life is not as perfect as it appears on the surface.
Despite having everything they could possibly want to make a comfortable life for themselves, there is one thing that they do not have, a child. There had been several miscarriages and then the tragic loss of their daughter, stillborn, eight years earlier. Louisa was often lonely.
Elliot was always on business, leaving Louisa to her own thoughts. She never doubted his loyalty to her. He’d had some trouble a year or so ago and this worried Louisa more than anything. Then one day her perfect world came crashing down around her. Elliot was late home, they were…
View original post 117 more words
One of the things I have found whilst recovering from a PTSD episode is to make sure self love and self care are high on my agenda.
I have candles lit, incense burning, herbal tea to drink and I’m reading a book. Life in this very moment feels peaceful.
I got this song stuck in my head a few weeks back. Been obsessed ever since.
I am sat here at a little after 11pm on a Saturday night listening to the rain. I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but here goes; I’ve missed the rain, really missed it. I know, I know, I can’t believe I’m saying that either!
I live in a part of the UK that sees a higher percentage of rainfall than most areas and I’m often to be found moaning about the excess precipitation. But we’ve had an actual summer this year, not as hot as the south of the country, but that’s fine because it’s been far too hot for a delicate soul like me!!!
All joking aside we actually need the rain. The ground is so dry. The river outside my house is exceptionally low, well it was, the rain we are forecast may actually change that. Plus, the rain means our reservoirs fill up and this means we are no longer at the mercy of a hosepipe ban. Where I live hadn’t actually enforced the ban, we’d had a few showers over the last couple of weeks and people had been really good about saving water. Hopefully the latest band of rain that is set to sweep across this part of the country will help to prevent any ban coming into force.
I’ve also found I actually miss the sound of rain. Despite moaning about it most of the time I actually find it soothing. OK, yes, there comes a point when this area has too much rain, but too little has an effect on us too.
So, I’m sat here listening to the rain and contemplating life. It’s been rough, really rough for me lately. An old wound got opened up and horrific flashbacks seeped out leaving me crippled with PTSD symptoms. I’d struggled for a while and then finally managed to get a decent night’s sleep a few days ago, which certainly helped me gain some much needed clarity. But yesterday and today have been pretty rough for me and I’ve struggled with the enormity of it all.
Then came the rain. This will sound strange, but for all the rain makes noise as it falls, it also brings a hushed presence with it. People are less inclined to be outside. I’m not such an ogre that I can’t stand people being outside in their own gardens, but when you’re battling demons inside your own head other people’s noise really can agitate your already frayed nerves. The energy around me feels calm now. Clean. How it should be. I feel cleansed, as does the energy around me.
Review of The Colors Of Blue by Lance McCulloch.