As we move into autumn, here in the UK, we are also moving into a more restricted lifestyle once again. Not a full lockdown, but restrictions on what we can and can’t do.
The last full lockdown broke me. Yes, I was safe at home and I thank the Goddess every day for that. But CPTSD grabbed me and had me so hyper vigilant I was on the verge of a breakdown.
I’m in a better head space now, but I do not want to return to that dark place I was in earlier this year. With tighter restrictions imminent and the threat of another lockdown I’m left wondering what that will mean for me.
Trusting in the flow of life is something I’ve always struggled with. Trauma survivors have spent so long relying on their instincts and themselves, it’s quite difficult to put faith in anyone or anything else.
I’m tentatively putting my faith in myself and my husband as we negotiate the coming weeks and months. Putting one foot in front of the other, taking each day as it comes.
I guess that’s all any of us can do to be honest.