Allowing Your Soul to Shine
At times, we’ve all wanted to crawl under a rock and hide away from the world. We may have preferred to be invisible rather than let other people see us or notice that we exist. This desire not to be seen often happens when we are feeling very hurt, angry, or simply weary of the world. And while we may console ourselves with the defense that we are shy, an introvert, or a loner, we may actually be hiding.
When we hide and make believe that we are invisible, we can think that no one sees us even though, truthfully, we are only really hiding from ourselves. And while we may try to live life as inconspicuously as possible, we only succeed in becoming more conspicuous because people can’t help but notice that we are trying to hide our light. None of us are meant to hide; each one of us radiates a unique brilliance that is meant to illuminate the world. When we try to dim our light, we diminish the natural radiance of the Universe, and we deprive the people around us of the unique gifts and talents that we are here to share.
Stepping out of the wings and letting your light shine is actually a way to serve the planet. We each have a responsibility to contribute to our community, and we do this when we let ourselves be seen. It doesn’t do anyone any good when we try to hide. We are all beings of light and we are here to light the way for each other. When we let ourselves shine, we become a bright mirror that others can see their own reflected brilliance through, and they can’t help but want to shine also. Shine your light out into the world, bless those around you by sharing your gifts, and watch the universe glow.
Do you ever find yourself implementing change within your life just for the sake of it? Or, are you quite happy to deal with your problems head on and then move forward in a manner that allows your life to flow smoothly?
Of course, there are times when implementing change is a necessity, but if you are forever changing things around then maybe you are running away from your problems, from your stressors, from your doubts, from whatever it is you are not facing up to.
For example; do you move from job to job and find that your co-workers cause you issues? This example shows that the issues are less likely to be with the co-workers and more likely to be with yourself. In this instance, you have to look at what pattern keeps cropping up and face it, then resolve it. Only then will you be able to move forward. Switching jobs every time you encounter a problem wth co-workers can help in the short term, but should you find this is a recurrent pattern in every job you have, then you know the problem is more to do with you and less to do with them.
It isn’t just in the workplace that you might have such issues. You can literally have issues in any area of your life and find that you are running from one thing to the next, with the so-called problem happening all of the time. This is when you know that you have some learning and growing to do and need to face the issue head on.
The easiest way for you to do this is to list all of the problems you are facing and be brutally honest with yourself. Journaling is always a wonderful tool in such instances and allows you to have a brain-dump. A brain-dump allows you to “get it all off your chest”. so to speak, and gives you a good insight into what the recurring issue actually is.
A lot of people are reluctant to face their issues head on because of the pain that it can cause. But, the pain is part of the healing process and once faced, won’t hang around forever. In fact, it is probably more painful to keep running away from your problems than it is to actually face them. Once you face any issues, especially recurring ones, you will find that you move forward in so many different areas in your life.
Running away versus moving forward?
Moving forward for sure!
I have mentioned a few times that my family have been bereaved five times since December 2010. One death is difficult enough to deal with, but five……..
I feel so angry with three of them for giving up on life and I know that this preventing me from moving onto the next stage in the grieving process. I know I am trapped in this stage and I know that this is causing me the problems I am having with sleep and the obsession about who is going to die next.
I faced something similar when my son was born 15 years ago. The year before – 1996 – I fell pregnant and we were over the moon. But I lost the baby and encountered a pain I thought would engulf me whole. Had I not had two daughters to care for I think I could very easily given in to the pain I felt. A few months later I was pregnant again with my son, but I spent the entire pregnancy feeling terrified something would happen. After he was born I suffered from Post Natal Depression. One of the worst things I went through was not being able to put my son down. I felt that if I put him down to sleep somewhere he would die, only I could save him by holding onto him all of the time.
After months of therapy and almost a year on anti depressants I discovered I was angry with my baby for dying and that I had held on to that anger so tightly that is engulfed me. It was only when I learnt to let go of the anger that I was able to move forward and mourn my baby.
Anger is such a self destructive emotion if we don’t let go of it. Anger can be a good thing if we use it to channel our emotions in a constructive manner, but if we don’t then we bottle up that anger and it eats away at us, making us miserable, making us ill, causing us problems. We have to learn to let go of our anger and resentment, free ourselves of the negativity that these emotions fill us with, only then can we move forward with our lives.
Today I picked another of the Daily OM emails at random and the message was about tuning in to our pain to listen for the message. This really piqued my interest, given the amount of emotional pain I have experienced over the past 16 months and beyond.
I have to say here and now that five deaths in sixteen months have taken their toll on my emotional wellbeing. I hate admitting that I am in need of help but I am so fed up of feeling the way I do that I have booked myself an appointment with my GP. My problem is that I find it difficult to fall asleep, stay asleep, and get enough sleep. Now, when I say this I mean that I cannot sleep on a night, falling asleep during the day isn’t so bad, I quite often get a decent sleep during the day. This was all good and well when I was laid up in bed but it is not so good when I need to be up and about. I started taking herbal tablets to help me sleep and they are working to a certain extent. But they don’t keep me asleep all night, well not all of the time anyway.
The pain I am experiencing relates to death. I have become obsessed with it. I have panic attacks over it. I am terrified to fall asleep because I don’t know who will have survived the night. It’s pretty grim feeling this way and that is why I have booked an appointment to see my GP. But I must stress I don’t want to numb everything with pills. I am not sure what I hope to gain from an appointment with my GP, maybe I am in need of some counselling, who knows?
Anyway, this is what the message from the OM was about; our first instinct is to numb everything with medication. It is telling us that we should listen to our bodies and minds and see if we can hear what message there is. We don’t have to rush into dosing ourselves up with medication in order to heal our pain, although if we truly do need urgent medical attention we should go for it.
I know I hurt over the deaths of five loved ones, and I know I hurt a lot. I know that the pain is eating away at me and this is because I cannot talk about it. I cannot talk about it to anyone because I am so damn angry with my brother and my father for giving up – and I know that sounds stupidly selfish. I know I need to let go of the anger that I am holding on to so tightly, I know it is the anger that is making me fearful and unable to sleep, but I just don’t know how to let go of that anger I have inside of me.
I have found my message and am acting upon it for the good of my health.
I have added a link to the Daily OM on the side of my blog. The Daily OM is pretty cool, I get email updates/OM’s all of the time and never have nearly enough time to read them through. I’m kind of hoping this will inspire me to read them more often and act upon the advice/info contained within each message/email.
I have each OM saved in a folder in my email account and I just picked one out at random.
The one I chose to read is discussing following nature’s cycles. This is something I have now gotten into a big way. When I first became incapacitated I was very frustrated at not being able to just do what I wanted/needed. I soon discovered that most of the stuff I was hankering after doing was not really all that important, it was just stuff that I had began to fill my life with. For the first few weeks I spent a lot of time sleeping, this did worry me as I thought it was due to the fibro. Eventually I realised it was what my body needed for its own good.
The OM goes on to suggest we balance our lives with nature, making a few suggestions as to how we can do this. I have already mentioned how I have learnt a great deal about myself whilst I was recuperating in bed. That time I spent unable to do much has led me to a decision I made at the weekend – to learn Reiki. Learning Reiki is just one of the many things I have adopted in my quest to live a more natural life.
When I say live a more natural life, I am not just talking about recycling and green living. I am beginning to attune my whole being to the natural cycles around me, and I understand that can be quite a difficult undertaking, but I want to help my body be in balance with nature. And as long winded as I have made that sound I am finding this quite an easy thing to do.