One of the things I have found whilst recovering from a PTSD episode is to make sure self love and self care are high on my agenda.
I have candles lit, incense burning, herbal tea to drink and I’m reading a book. Life in this very moment feels peaceful.
I got this song stuck in my head a few weeks back. Been obsessed ever since.
I am sat here at a little after 11pm on a Saturday night listening to the rain. I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but here goes; I’ve missed the rain, really missed it. I know, I know, I can’t believe I’m saying that either!
I live in a part of the UK that sees a higher percentage of rainfall than most areas and I’m often to be found moaning about the excess precipitation. But we’ve had an actual summer this year, not as hot as the south of the country, but that’s fine because it’s been far too hot for a delicate soul like me!!!
All joking aside we actually need the rain. The ground is so dry. The river outside my house is exceptionally low, well it was, the rain we are forecast may actually change that. Plus, the rain means our reservoirs fill up and this means we are no longer at the mercy of a hosepipe ban. Where I live hadn’t actually enforced the ban, we’d had a few showers over the last couple of weeks and people had been really good about saving water. Hopefully the latest band of rain that is set to sweep across this part of the country will help to prevent any ban coming into force.
I’ve also found I actually miss the sound of rain. Despite moaning about it most of the time I actually find it soothing. OK, yes, there comes a point when this area has too much rain, but too little has an effect on us too.
So, I’m sat here listening to the rain and contemplating life. It’s been rough, really rough for me lately. An old wound got opened up and horrific flashbacks seeped out leaving me crippled with PTSD symptoms. I’d struggled for a while and then finally managed to get a decent night’s sleep a few days ago, which certainly helped me gain some much needed clarity. But yesterday and today have been pretty rough for me and I’ve struggled with the enormity of it all.
Then came the rain. This will sound strange, but for all the rain makes noise as it falls, it also brings a hushed presence with it. People are less inclined to be outside. I’m not such an ogre that I can’t stand people being outside in their own gardens, but when you’re battling demons inside your own head other people’s noise really can agitate your already frayed nerves. The energy around me feels calm now. Clean. How it should be. I feel cleansed, as does the energy around me.
I’m going through a hard time right now. My mother is in hospital and I’ve also got a situation in my life that needs my attention.
I’m tackling life by putting one foot in front of the other and moving forward. It’s hard, but I’m doing it.
Life can be hard. Life can be crazy. We don’t have to let it defeat us. We can all do this.
Last year a friend of mine was using a set of oracle cards and I was immediately drawn to them. I got myself a deck and have been using them regularly ever since.
I have always had a love/hate relationship with tarot cards, I just cannot bond with them at all. Oracle cards are absolutely my thing and this deck in particular have spoken to me in ways that tarot never has.
I try to draw one every day but life is just hectic so it isn’t always possible. Recently I’ve been having the same card come up and I am blown away, as always, at how in tune with me these cards are.
I guess I need to listen to what the universe is trying to tell me; it’s time to slow down and release the tight grip I have on a certain situation.
I hear ya!!!