I’ve spent a fair amount of time nursing regret at what I should’ve done in my life. It just seeps into you at times, you don’t realise you’re holding on so tightly.
Realising that life is a gift and that the journey is also a gift made me stop and think about why I’m lugging regret around with me.
What does it serve?
I’m talking about the regrets we have when we don’t take action in our lives, not the regrets we have when we’ve hurt someone.
There’s no reason why we can’t just aim for what we want our lives to be like, little by little. Just because we didn’t do that last week, or last year, or even five or ten years ago, that doesn’t mean we can’t still aim for that desire now.
There’s a saying that goes something like you’re a long time dead. Sobering thought. We may as well make good on what we want to do whilst we journey through this thing called life.
This week sees the last of my Psychology Level 1 lessons. I have learnt a lot and a vision for my future has transpired. I began this journey out of anger towards cuts to vital services for women who experience sexual violence, hoping to do one thing, but as I have gone through the first year of my Psychology Degree I have found out where my interest really lies.
It’s still early days for me on this journey and I am excited to see where the next steps of it take me.
I feel like I am so different on a personal level now. Studying has made me prioritise a hell of lot of things in my life, and there’s a lot I have let go. Mostly it has been trivial stuff, but one thing was a friendship that I considered to be of value, despite the warnings from family that the person was no good to me.
Earlier this year there was a situation in my personal life and it was during this time that this person blocked me on all social media – the situation was not related to her, it was something else. At the time I had too much going on to even give her actions more than a moment’s thought, but as life got back to a semblance of normality I got to thinking about how the loss of friendship was going to feel.
And I felt nothing.
I was quite surprised by this. I have known this person for many years and whenever one of us has stopped speaking to the other I have tended to feel the loss keenly. But I feel absolutely nothing this time and I think this has a lot to do with the inner work I have done on myself, plus how I prioritise who and what I allow into my life now.
Moving forward, thinking about where I want to be in terms of how I show up in the world, I now have a solid sense of who I allow into my inner circle. Working on myself on a therapeutical level and studying psychology has allowed me to tend to my inner garden, so to speak. I now only allow healthy relationships into my life. If something or someone is not good for my health, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, then it has no place in my life.
What started out as an angry call to action has possibly been one of the best decisions of my life. I have learnt how to weed out that which isn’t good for me, whereas in the past I would tend to ignore it, convincing myself that I knew myself well enough!
Sometimes endings are the best things for us. Sometimes letting go is the best thing we can do. Not all loss comes to hurt us, often it comes to teach us and we have to be willing to listen and learn, otherwise the lesson will just repeat itself until we learn what we need to.
People often misunderstand quotes such as the one above. They believe that a quote such as that blindly believes nothing bad will ever happen to us. Positive thoughts don’t prevent bad things happening all of the time, life happens and in life bad things can and do happen.
Quotes such as the one above are a reminder for us to choose how we react to what life throws our way. They aren’t trying to convince us that positivity will keep the bad at bay, they are reminding us to stop and think before we act, or react.
If someone upsets or angers you, pause, count to ten and then see how you choose to react. That moment’s pause is often all it takes to take the sting out of our reactions.
Starting your day off with a positive mindset can have a huge impact on the rest of your day. You will feel calmer right from the get go, and feeling calmer can give you a whole different perspective on what transpires for you throughout the day.
Bad stuff can and will still occur, because we can only really control our own actions and reactions, we cannot prevent everything from happening. There will always be negativity, illness, death, etc, that is life.
But by choosing how you react to your partner throwing an off hand comment your way, or how you react to your boss and their bad mood, these things can be handled with a positive mindset, you can choose not to react negatively.
What a really positive card and a great start to the week!
The energy and your emotions are building, the sky is the limit, your dreams can come true. Keep moving forward as your goal is in sight.
I think this is a great card, coming right after Mercury has gone direct. The time is now to plan and do. There’s always a sense of hurriedness once Mercury has begun moving forward, but slow and steady wins the race, remember that when the current energies are urging you to move, move, move.
With Valentine’s just a couple of days away, today my message is one of love.
I am always talking about how love isn’t just about the romantic kind. It’s about our families. Our friends. Work or school colleagues.
People can go OTT at this time of the year. I don’t think that matters, why should it to us? We don’t always know what is going on in the personal lives of other people.
People without partners can feel down at this time of year. The displays of cards, flowers, gifts, a constant reminder of what they don’t have.
This is where self love is important.
Self love is a special kind of love. You always have yourself. I think it’s important at any time of the year to practice self love and care, soul love. Especially during these dark and uncertain times. But at this time of year it can be a wonderful way to help with any feelings of lack.
Be good to yourself. Be kind. Be loving. Remind yourself that you are not defined by having a man or a woman in your life. Your worth is all about you as a whole, not what someone else brings to your life.
Celebrate the love you have for yourself this coming weekend. Even if you are in a relationship, there’s nothing wrong with loving you too.
And if you’re not in a relationship and haven’t learnt to love yourself yet, just be gentle with yourself right now. Use this weekend as a starting point to loving you. Keep things simple to start with, learning to love yourself is difficult enough, so don’t over complicate any gestures or actions you plan on doing.
Most of all celebrate love this weekend. Any kind of love. Not just romantic love.
Th card is all about centring on the feeling of joy. No matter what is going on in our own lives we can still experience joy by awakening our senses. There are plenty of ways for us to engage all of our senses you just have to be willing to explore them.
During the run-up to Valentine’s Day we can engage with our sense of touch, our sense of smell, our sense of taste, our sense of sight and sound/hearing.
We don’t have to have a partner to engage our senses. Having a luxurious bath can engage some of our senses. Listening to music too.
There is no reason for us not to feel sensual if we are alone. A little imagination can go along way.