I know I’ve said this a lot lately, but we need to focus on the positive in our lives. Whatever your thoughts on manifestation and positive thinking, it makes so much sense to focus on the good in our lives.
So, for one last time this year, make a list of everything you have to be thankful for. The aim is to focus on the good you have encountered this year, replacing the negative thoughts that we all have focused on way too much this year.
What a year this has been. I started it off with the intention of loving myself. Regular readers of this blog will know that I have struggled with a lack of self love for a very long time. Instead of making New Year’s resolutions – which I always break by the middle of February at the very latest – I decided to dedicate the year to loving myself. I started off great, I was able to practice self love each day; that was until we hit lockdown in March.
That was when things went downhill.
I have CPTSD – Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder – and had been in a hyper vigilant state for most of my adult life. I had gone through therapy that had helped me enormously, but I lost my ability to cope once the UK went into lockdown.
I became so paranoid and stressed, I was crying most days and really couldn’t cope with the threat of being stopped by the police or some other official anytime I left the house.
By my birthday I’d had a breakdown and was in a really dark place. I felt like I had failed at the self love project and started thinking very dark and scary thoughts. I eventually went to see a Dr. and got prescribed anti-depressants.
After a few weeks I began to feel better in myself. That nearly came to an end in late summer, I needed a smear and the first attempt failed – I was really calm and positive too. The second attempt was a disaster also. Flashbacks, panic attacks, massive triggers….they also couldn’t get a sample of cells. I cried all the way home. I felt like I was 16 again.
But out of that experience I felt empowered to help other women who have suffered any form of sexual violence, and domestic abuse too. I was so determined to put my own experiences to some use that I enrolled with the OU to study Psychology with Counselling.
And as we enter the final month of what can only be termed as a horrific year, I feel empowered, well, happy, determined, and I certainly practice self love.
You see, I now know that going to the GP to get the medication was an act of self love. I know that pushing through my trauma triggers and flashbacks has catapulted me forward to a place where I can try to make a difference to women who have suffered at the hands of rapists and abusers.
2020 broke me. But I rose from the ashes and I am rebuilding my life on my own terms.
This year the holiday season feels more poignant than ever before. This year has been dominated by loss. It has driven home the message for me that life is for living.
This card is indicating that things in our lives are coming to a head. This could very well be the turning point we’ve all been waiting for, especially here in the UK where we are going into a second lockdown later this week.
Full moons are renowned for the explosive energy that they can generate, and this card does point to an emotional explosion. To steer yourself in the right direction you need to tune into your emotions, trust your gut, your intuition and see what they are telling you.
All that aside, this is a positive card and you will find that you are likely to get the answers you have been seeking. This is a time to let go of the past and move forward.
In tense situations it’s always best to try and remain as calm as you can. I know tensions are running high right now, but take a breath, let any negativity go and move forward with a clear head.