Healing has to be what is right for you. That’s something I’ve learnt along the way. My healing may appear messy, loud, outspoken, a sort of why are you doing/saying that. My healing is my journey and your healing is yours, it only has to make sense to the person who is healing.
On my self love journey I am really beginning to value myself, and my time, a lot more. Knowing what I am worth, knowing that I value myself has meant I have been able to see situations in my life a lot clearer.
Never devalue yourself for part time people. Always know your worth and act accordingly. If you lose people, whether they be friends or family then you know that they are not respecting your boundaries. The boundaries you have put in place to make sure your time and attention is not being used up by others for their own agenda.
Loving yourself wholly means you have to get tough on situations and people who devalue your worth. It hurts at times to discover that people whom you deem important in your life don’t feel the same way about you. But this is where loving yourself really steps up a gear and allows you to differentiate between those who really care about you and those who just say they do.
Loving you is important, it’s vital to your self worth.
At this time of the year many of us have made a commitment to change something. We call them resolutions, New Year Resolutions. Similar words in keeping with resolution are decision, aim, declaration, purpose, perseverance, intention. Words we should remember when we struggle with these promises we have made.
Whatever we have promised ourselves that we will change we will have done so with good intentions. However, many of us start to lose focus after a couple of weeks. We lose the motivation that inspired us around the Holiday season. We become angry with ourselves and the promise we made starts to feel like a burden.
I made a promise to myself that I would simply love myself more. After all of the turmoil I had gone through in the past few years I decided it was an easy enough thing for me to do. Nothing too taxing, nothing that would make me feel like I was being hard on myself.
Love myself more.
For me, loving myself more means:
•Being kind to myself.
•Not pushing myself too hard.
Seems easy enough, right? For the first week of January it was easy to be kind and gentle with myself. It was easy to make sure nobody was encroaching on my boundaries. By the second week I was struggling with a virus and it was all I could do to just function, self-care and self-love slipped down my list of priorities as I struggled to get through each day. I felt like a failure. How could I have failed at something so simple?
Last week once the effects of the virus had gone and I was starting to feel more human, I got to thinking about resolutions, my promise to myself, and what it all means to me. I began the year with the intention to love myself completely and that included not being too hard on myself. Yet here I was being hard on myself. Beating myself up for failing at something as easy as loving myself.
Feeling so much better had given me clarity and allowed me to see that when I was ill I was giving myself self-care and self-love. By just doing what I needed to each day and not over taxing myself, that was an act of self-love and self-care.
When we make promises to ourselves at the beginning of each new year we need to remember that life will always throw curve balls our way. Rather than giving up we should thank life/the universe for whatever lesson it was teaching us at the time and recommit to the promise we made ourselves. Losing our way also gives us a chance to tweak the promise, because life isn’t static and neither should we be.