Monday Mooncards – 19/10/20.

Full Moons are about bringing things to their conclusion, letting go and this card can suggest endings in friendships, relationships, working partnerships, and so on.

This is the right time for such an ending. It’s time to put your trust in the universe and let go. Trust that what is happening serves a purpose in your life, trust that this is right for you.

The win-win aspect is giving permission for you to focus on yourself. Letting go of something can leave you with a sense of emptiness, use that void to focus on you.

Alternatively there is the suggestion of an ending to altercations that have blighted you. Arguments. Upsets. They are falling away and things are looking up.

When you let go of anything it is normal to feel lost. Take care of yourself. Trust in the process. Be kind to yourself and love you.

Trust that life is moving you forward to better things.

Today I realised that….

….it’s ok for me to be happy.

That took a huge chunk of time to realise, but I no longer feel guilty for being happy. It’s ok. It’s allowed.

Wow!

Recovering from trauma and PTSD episodes is really hard, but once I let go of how I thought I should feel and just allowed myself to be……that’s when the miracles started to happen. The miracles of happiness and feeling that happiness right to my core. The miracle that I actually love who I am, and that’s how it should be. The miracle that allows me to trust people who aren’t my family.

Wow!

Be happy, start living.

Moonday Cards – 11/10/20

If you’ve been feeling paranoid and acting weird, you can take this card as a very direct message from the Universe that you can stop now.

Worrying yourself is pointless. It’s time to release any negativity that has built up around your situation.

If you’re worrying about how a person has been treating you, then it’s time to let that go. Release any anger you have. Release any negative feelings. This doesn’t mean you’ve let them win, on the contrary, letting the situation go (and quite often the person/people) is very liberating. Forgiving them frees you.

Letting negativity go is the best possible thing for us to do. Holding on to all that anger, resentment, hatred, it gets us nowhere. In fact, it can often make us ill. Best to let it all go.

You can write about the situation on a piece of paper, read it through and then burn it. Alternatively you can tear the paper into tiny pieces and flush it down the toilet – you could use toilet paper if you’d rather flush that instead.

Just breathe. Then let go.

Weekend Vibes – 10/10/20.

Sometimes we get to the weekend and instead of relaxing we spend it stressing about work, school, family, friends, just about anything. We want our weekends to be fun, peaceful, relaxing, but when we stress about “stuff” we find Monday has rolled around again and the worrying has wasted the weekend. Time we could’ve spent relaxing. Time we could’ve spent being fully present with our families.

What if we could just let go of the stressors, at least for a couple of days? What if we could put the heavy stuff aside for a day or two and focus on the here and now? This doesn’t mean our stress is magically wiped away, it just means we are going to focus on the present day, and that present day is a Saturday or Sunday. *Please note, this post assumes you work Monday to Friday, but if you work weekends and have the same stress on your days off, by all means, take what you need from this post and apply to your life.*

There is a wonderful, easy, and simple exercise that I have used plenty of times. It won’t take your problems away, but it will allow you to become focused in the here and now and that is what we all want for our weekends off.

BE A TREE: Use your imagination to feel stable, calm and focused.

EXERCISE:

Mindfully ground yourself with inspiration from nature. Pretend your legs are the roots of a tree, reaching your arms up to be the branches. Sway from side to side as if you are blowing in the wind. Notice your legs don’t move, keeping you grounded. Imagine being a tree when the winds of life whip up. Be flexible, yet resilient, like a tree in a storm.

At first this might seem silly. You might feel self conscious, or wonder what this simple exercise can do to help reduce your stress and bring your thoughts back into the present moment.

Grounding yourself is always a wonderful way to bring your thoughts back to the present moment. This action alone can bring about calming thoughts and help you feel reconnected with the present. When you add the tree exercise to the grounding exercise you allow your thoughts to shift to the present moment, imagining yourself swaying in the wind just as tree does.

Trees are rooted in the earth, they are grounded. They are open to the elements all day, everyday. They take whatever weather system comes at them and they remain rooted and grounded, being flexible by swaying their branches. And so the idea here is to be more like a tree, swaying, being flexible, remaining calm and grounded and not being affected by everything that life throws our way.

This exercise is calming and soothing, and you will hopefully start to appreciate your life within the moment, rather than focusing on issues at work, or school, or even within the family life. This exercise is not intended to push your troubles away, the intent is to bring your focus to the here and now, allowing yourself to be present and shift your focus from stress to calm thoughts and thinking.

Once your thoughts are calm, you then have the opportunity to plan how you are going to tackle any problems you might be facing. You can plan a time and day for when you will tackle any issues, allowing your thoughts to be calm and not solely focused on those problems. Making a plan will help you feel more in control and allow you to enjoy the time you have free throughout the weekend.

Tuesday Thought – 29/09/20

For so long I’ve hidden away when it comes to connecting with new people. Online it’s easy to hide, in real life not so much.

Last night I had a group thing to attend online, I’d said that I’d go and I meant it. I started getting panicky around 10 minutes before the event was due to start.

I was still determined to go.

As the event started I couldn’t get into the room. How easy it would’ve been to just walk away, figuratively speaking. Hiding behind technical issues is lame, but it was true.

But the organiser swapped over to zoom and I had to re-download the app – my phone archives unused and rarely used apps when it updates the software.

Again, the panic was setting in. What would people think of me? Would they judge me? I felt nervous about how I looked. How I’d sound. I didn’t feel ready or good enough. But then a voice inside me said “show up as you are”.

Showing up as I am, last night, meant no make-up, casual clothing, no voice (I’ve lost my voice due to a cold) and wearing my glasses – something I rarely do unless I can wear my prescription sunglasses.

It meant trusting in the universe. Trusting that everything would be OK. Trusting that nobody would care how I looked, or sounded.

And so I clicked join and the world didn’t end. Everything was fine. I had a good time and I’m pleased I pushed through the panic.

Showing up as we are is scary as hell, but it’s so rewarding.

Tuesday Truth – 15/09/20

Recently I’ve realised even the most well meaning people, those who claim they are forgiving and non-judging, even they fall short. It sounds quite obvious when I see the words before me, after all, none of us are perfect.

I’ll say it again: None of us are perfect.

It’s hard to forgive people who have hurt you, boy don’t I know it! But I’m the type of person who will give people a million chances, and then a million more.

People I’ve known for a long time and who I’m connected to personally, professionally, even spiritually, are some of the people I end up forgiving over and over again. We have connection. We have history. We supposedly have friendship…… I have given chances to them, even when they’ve lied about me to peers.

I have struggled with my mental health in the last three years and the ones who I thought would have my back have used my “sins” as a tool to punish me with, hence some of the lies.

I hear them preaching love and forgiveness, but I know it’s all a facade as their version of forgiveness is selective. This leads me to wondering why some people are all talk and no action, and others – usually the ones who have struggled and suffered the most – cannot bear to see other people suffering.

My “sin” is that when shit gets real for me I hide away from people who I am supposed to trust. But trust is not something I can easily slip into when PTSD comes a-calling. Trauma victims often shut down and go into survival mode, where there is no room for anyone but themselves. It isn’t personal, it’s trauma related behaviour.

I’ve been labelled as distant, cold, hard-faced, incapable of feeling, etc when I’m in survival mode. This is quite a shocking thing to hear when someone you believe has your best interests at heart says this about you.

It doesn’t help with the trust issues, but reinforces that trauma related dialogue that goes on inside your head. It reinforces your belief that you are everything your abuser or attacker said about you. It reinforces that lack of self worth you have honed over many years of hating upon yourself.

It is a very difficult cycle to break. Our minds are constantly churning out thoughts and if we allow the negative stuff free reign, it quickly takes over.

There was a time when I would believe I was unworthy of love and friendship. I would believe that if this person wasn’t willing to forgive me then I must be awful. Or if that person wasn’t willing to forgive me I must be a truly shitty human.

I know I am not.

I know I am worthy of love, happiness, friendship, peace, and much more.

I can’t change the past, it happened. I can’t change how I acted or reacted, it’s in the past. I have apologised to the people who I hurt, whether they forgive me or not is up to them. I have forgiven myself for feeling bad about how acted when I was in the midst of a PTSD episode. I have forgiven myself for acting in that way.

I believe that to truly forgive people you must first learn to forgive yourself.