I’ve had a flood of memories come back to me recently, probably courtesy of the intensive therapy I had earlier in the year.
This year has been a rollercoaster for me emotionally, and so many emotional blocks have been removed from me; the jury is still out on whether or not that’s a good thing.
The amount of emotional stuff I’ve repressed for so many years is jaw dropping, I have no idea how I’ve kept it all inside of me.
On the flip side of the emotional mess that has been literally leaking out of me (tears) I’ve found solace in music and I’m happy to report so many happy memories have come flooding back to me.
This particular song that I wanted to share is one of many that remind me of a time when all was well in my world and my family was intact. Childhood memories and songs that remind us of simpler, happier times are always best shared.
I’ve somehow let someone dull my shine, I’d stopped believing in myself. Then a friend reminded me I’m not the person I’d been left feeling like. The song I’m humming today reflects the sentiment she’s reminded me of.
My previous post told of how I’d suddenly realised my ancestors were hearing my plea. Well, just to make sure I knew, they’ve popped another “reminds me of my Dad” song in my head.
You know when you get that lightbulb moment in your head, everything just starts to make sense and you’re left wondering why you haven’t had this thought process, this feeling you’re having now, you’re wondering why you haven’t thought and felt like this before. Â Well, I’m doing my Soul Love work and stumbled upon a practice that led me to a revelation.
To cut a long story short I was doing something that required me to hit shuffle and play on my playlist and the three songs hit me right in my truth centre – a.k.a your gut, or your solar plexus.  One song in particular caused the aha moment.  The song used to mean something very different to me.  The song – Don’t Dream It’s Over by Crowded House – used to remind me that the trauma I was suffering from was over, you see, I used to suffer terribly with PTSD and would have the most horrendous nightmares.  The song always reminded me that I was moving forward, away from the attack and the subsequent trauma and that I really could rebuild my life.
Today, however, when I heard the song, certain lyrics actually jumped right out at me. Â That was when the lightbulb moment struck and the song actually started to hold a different significance. Â No longer does it remind me that I am not stuck in that moment anymore, Â now it is reminding me that the work I am doing with Soul Love is relevant, is important, and is very much needed.
Working in circle with other women I am discovering that we share similar truths and stories and that as women we are demanding to be heard, and at that particular moment when I was listening to the lyrics a new truth pushed itself forward and demanded I listen and take note.
The truth?
The truth is that I am embracing myself as a woman, a woman who has a voice and who has important work to do out there in the world.  A woman who is not going to take the shit that so many people – especially men – throw at me.  My truth is not about chasing people, nor is it about being the gopher for people who won’t  – notice I say won’t and not can’t  – do things for themselves.  The latter being one of the things that has held me back for so long, the demanding of my time for their needs because they don’t want to take care of them for themselves.
I am OK with the fact that people are going to get mad with me for this.  I’m OK with the fact that people are going to distance themselves from me because  they think what I am saying is crazy, or out there…..but I am absolutely at peace with this.
Music is important to all of us, in some way or another.  Whether we listen to pop music, rock music, classical, hip-hop, reggae, indie, electronic, dance, whatever, music is important to us whatever our taste.
My own taste is very eclectic; one day I will listen to nothing other than U2, whereas the next I am singing along to the Spice Girls. Â I used to share songs on a former blog – I can’t recall why I closed that blog down- I found it was an excellent way to explore the music I really love listening to and to share what a particular song actually means to me. Â I aim to re-introduce that to my blog, so be ready to be inundated with cheesy songs.
Starting this journey off is a song that I have shared on this blog before. Â The song is from 1982 – I was 11 – and it is by the Australian band Men At Work. Â The reason I love this song so much is because it cheers me up. Â It reminds me of a simpler time in my life, I was still in primary school, life was good and I was protected from the harsh realities of life by my parents and Aunty, whom I was always with. Â It’s such a fun song and my song of choice whenever I feel down, it never fails to cheer me up.
