That time of year is coming around again – Christmas, Yule, the holidays, whatever you want to call it. It’s a really magical time of the year, but it’s also a very stressful time of the year for many of us too.
The pressure many of us feel to have everything just perfect, from the gifts to the food and drink, to making sure the entire family has an amazing day, these pressures leave us feeling stressed out and unable to see a way beyond the madness.
Making lists can really help here. Lists allow us to have each task laid out in black and white and once ticked off we can feel enormous pleasure in achieving something. It also allows us to break everything down into more manageable chunks and can take some of the pressure off.
And of course some things we just cannot control so just breathe and let go.
If you’re anything like me you’ll be fantastic at giving advice to others, solving their problems, and generally being the support they need.
But what about yourself?
Again, if you’re anything like me you won’t be so good at being that same caring person for yourself. For whatever reason we find it difficult to prioritise ourselves and often run on empty, which in turn is very detrimental to not only our health, but our emotional wellbeing also.
If all you can manage is five minutes a day, every day, then that’s a start. Five minutes turns into ten minutes, ten minutes turns into twenty minutes, and so on and so forth.
Make yourself a priority, you really do deserve it.
Worrying about stuff is a normal, human trait. I do it, probably more than I’d care to admit. We all do it to some degree. It can be useful in the short term, helping us problem solve among other things.
But too much worrying is bad for our mental wellbeing. It sucks the life out of us. It robs us of our lives. A useful tool I’ve been using a lot is to write down everything, no matter how trivial it seems, that is worrying me. Then I work through my list, prioritising important stuff and relegating trivial stuff to a piece of paper that I burn.
I agree, some things that worry us won’t leave us alone, but there are things that we worry about that drain us and rob us of our mental wellbeing. These are the worries we need to let go of.
One thing I’ve found hard on this journey called life, is not giving a damn about what other people think of me. There are days where I really couldn’t care less, their opinion of me isn’t my business, and there are days when I find myself crippled by anxiety over what someone has said, or allegedly said.
Why the hell do we do this to ourselves?
If we get caught up in what the haters think then we are giving them free reign over our lives. Live your life and forget about those who haven’t got anything positive to say to you, or about you. Leave them to their toxicity.
Sometimes it’s the easiest thing to do – giving up. But we never accomplish anything by quitting. Keep going, no matter how hard things seem. You will get there one day, and when you do you’ll be glad you didn’t quit.
I’ve known many fake people in my life and it is sad to think that they have felt they have to make a persona up in order to be liked.
It’s also sad that some people do not like us because we are being our genuine selves. It’s easy to blame the advent of social media on this, but people being fake is nothing new.
I like the quotes that encourage us to be ourselves, telling us that the world needs our uniqueness. Such quotes inspire me to keep on being myself. I often have to remind myself that not everyone is going to like me and that is ok, that’s just how life is.
Keep on being yourself. The world needs your uniqueness.
To hear my story you would think I’d never actually healed my wounds. I have been healed, maybe not wholly, maybe that’s part of the problem, or maybe this kind of wound heals akin to a broken bone; the wound knits together but there’ll always be a niggle there.
I’m reading a book at the moment that is an accompaniment to my self discovery journey and in it the author says “we have to go within and address the soundings that live inside”. Going within over the last few weeks I have realised that time and feeling safe will help me heal the massive wound. But the wounds I didn’t realise I carried inside of me, the wounds inflicted upon me by other women, well, I have absolutely no idea how to heal these wounds.
Today I’ve made lists, if you know me you know I love my lists. Lists of the people responsible for the wounds and the affliction that caused each wound. I’ve listed how I felt at the time and how I feel now. It’s helped somewhat because I’ve identified hurt I hadn’t realised I was carrying around with me.
My lists and the book have helped me to realise that I’ve skirted around each wound that these women have caused me, making excuses for their behaviour, not acknowledging that they have well and truly screwed me over.
Going inside has allowed me to face these wounds, and yeah, they’re pretty scary to deal with – it’s all a huge mess that really could do with cleaning up – it’s allowed me to see that I am not the braveheart people call me. A braveheart would’ve faced these wounds and dealt with the messy business of the pain and the suffering and the raw emotions that are part and parcel of self discovery.
Delving deep into my inner core is exciting and nerve-wracking at the same time. It’s a journey I’m thoroughly enjoying.