I’ve spent a fair amount of time nursing regret at what I should’ve done in my life. It just seeps into you at times, you don’t realise you’re holding on so tightly.
Realising that life is a gift and that the journey is also a gift made me stop and think about why I’m lugging regret around with me.
What does it serve?
I’m talking about the regrets we have when we don’t take action in our lives, not the regrets we have when we’ve hurt someone.
There’s no reason why we can’t just aim for what we want our lives to be like, little by little. Just because we didn’t do that last week, or last year, or even five or ten years ago, that doesn’t mean we can’t still aim for that desire now.
There’s a saying that goes something like you’re a long time dead. Sobering thought. We may as well make good on what we want to do whilst we journey through this thing called life.
This week sees the last of my Psychology Level 1 lessons. I have learnt a lot and a vision for my future has transpired. I began this journey out of anger towards cuts to vital services for women who experience sexual violence, hoping to do one thing, but as I have gone through the first year of my Psychology Degree I have found out where my interest really lies.
It’s still early days for me on this journey and I am excited to see where the next steps of it take me.
I feel like I am so different on a personal level now. Studying has made me prioritise a hell of lot of things in my life, and there’s a lot I have let go. Mostly it has been trivial stuff, but one thing was a friendship that I considered to be of value, despite the warnings from family that the person was no good to me.
Earlier this year there was a situation in my personal life and it was during this time that this person blocked me on all social media – the situation was not related to her, it was something else. At the time I had too much going on to even give her actions more than a moment’s thought, but as life got back to a semblance of normality I got to thinking about how the loss of friendship was going to feel.
And I felt nothing.
I was quite surprised by this. I have known this person for many years and whenever one of us has stopped speaking to the other I have tended to feel the loss keenly. But I feel absolutely nothing this time and I think this has a lot to do with the inner work I have done on myself, plus how I prioritise who and what I allow into my life now.
Moving forward, thinking about where I want to be in terms of how I show up in the world, I now have a solid sense of who I allow into my inner circle. Working on myself on a therapeutical level and studying psychology has allowed me to tend to my inner garden, so to speak. I now only allow healthy relationships into my life. If something or someone is not good for my health, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, then it has no place in my life.
What started out as an angry call to action has possibly been one of the best decisions of my life. I have learnt how to weed out that which isn’t good for me, whereas in the past I would tend to ignore it, convincing myself that I knew myself well enough!
Sometimes endings are the best things for us. Sometimes letting go is the best thing we can do. Not all loss comes to hurt us, often it comes to teach us and we have to be willing to listen and learn, otherwise the lesson will just repeat itself until we learn what we need to.
It’s Pancake Day here in the UK. As a child pancakes were something we ate in the run up to Easter, to herald the start of Lent. My family were fairly religious, so this was something we did partake in.
As an adult and someone who has practiced the craft for over 30 years, Pancake Day was acknowledged in my house as my children were fond of pancakes. The religious meaning behind the day had gone.
But did you know that the original celebration was a pagan festival?
The Slavs – a diverse group of tribal people, who lived throughout central and Eastern- Europe circa the 5th – 10th century – worshipped a God named Jarilo (I think it’s pronounced Yarilo). They believed that the changing of the season, from winter to spring, was a struggle between Jarilo, who was the God of vegetation, fertility and springtime, and the spirits of the cold and darkness.
They believed they had to help Jarilo win this struggle and this was a part of their spring celebration. The entire celebration lasted a week, with a large part of it making and eating pancakes. The hot, round pancakes symbolised the sun, and the Slavs believed that by eating the pancakes they would be imbued with the power, heat and warmth of the sun.
I think that is a wonderful and happy belief to have.
As I said yesterday, February is all about love.
“In stillness, I find my centre and hear the messages meant for me.”
Stillness is an anchor that returns us to ourselves and our true path. Schedule a time to rest and be still. To sit for just a few minutes in stillness, breathing, being calm, letting life flow.
Notice how much time in stillness feels nourishing for you. Even for a few minutes being still and centring yourself can have a huge impact on your mental state.
This kind of activity he’s nourishing for your soul. Anything that is nourishing for your soul is Soul Love, self-love.
Being still and allowing thoughts and feelings to come and go allows you to anchor yourself. To ground yourself.
Be still. Be love.